She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
