You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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