Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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