He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
