I will die if light touches me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
