I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
