saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
