I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
why do cheetos always look like penises
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
