we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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