Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the day after is always just damage control
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I supernannyed him into submission
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
