my vag is so smooth its legendary
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
