Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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