never play flip cup with pint glasses
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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