He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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