You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
