It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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