i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize