You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
