lets start a swedish sibling band together
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
