I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
