All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Randomize
