Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
