zippers are such a cool invention
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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