Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
