I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
