i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
