last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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