I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize