i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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