Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize