Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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