My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
