Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
