I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
