Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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