do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
