Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
