quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
