I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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