Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
