Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
