dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize