So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
