his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This house was built for laser tag.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
