remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
