She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
