from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
