Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
