I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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