My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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