laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
