Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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