K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
