Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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