I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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