The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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