Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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