I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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